If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
