The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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