Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
