i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
