i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
