"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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