you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
