My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
