just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
