his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
