he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
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