and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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