Yo dont text me then not text me
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
