Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
