they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
