??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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