like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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