I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Randomize
