I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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