GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
