I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize
