I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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