Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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