but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
