Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
