So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Why did my mother make you get naked?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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