Me too!
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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