She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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