Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
