Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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