I just saw a hot homeless man
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
