Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
