When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
