we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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