the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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