sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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