i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
We were destined to go to rehab together
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
