im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Randomize
