i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
