Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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