Your face is a jimmy john
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
