I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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