I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Randomize
