i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
You are a genius and a whore.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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