Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
