i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
