I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
