you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
