Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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