No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
