new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
