I murdered the dance floor call the cops
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
