so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
